Expectations have more impact on your relationship than you may think. Realistic expectations can make your relationship thrive, while unrealistic, toxic ones can smash it into pieces. However, what if you already have this problem but do not realize it? Keep reading this article to discover if you have toxic expectations that can sabotage your relationship.
6 Toxic Expectations That Can Sabotage Your Relationship
1. A Relationship Takes Very Little Effort If It Is Healthy
Some people believe that a relationship does not need a lot of maintenance if it’s healthy. This, however, cannot be further from the truth.
In reality, it’s the opposite. The healthier a relationship is, the more effort and time the couple invested in it. After all, good things don’t usually come easy. Building a successful relationship is no different. Therefore, it takes a lot of dedication to make it work, ensuring both partners feel happy and secure in it.
So don’t mistakenly believe you are in the wrong, failed relationship if you need to put in a lot of work. It’s the necessary thing to do if you want to avoid a breakup or divorce in the future.
2. Your Partner Is Supposed to Read Your Mind
Do you expect your partner to take one look at you and instantly realize what’s bothering you? As wonderful as that would be, people are not mind-readers, and your partner has no such superpowers either. Therefore, you should not expect them to guess what’s troubling you.
Chances are, they’ll never figure it out unless you tell them about it. And the more time you keep quiet about it, the more resentful you may feel toward your partner.
So don’t wait for your partner to guess what’s on your mind. Instead, freely express your thoughts with them, even if it makes you feel a bit nervous. It’s better to be upfront about it rather than keep it to yourself.
3. Your Partner Needs to Be At Your Disposal At All Times
If you believe that your loved one should be available at all times, you will be disappointed and hurt soon enough. Of course, your partner needs to support you through hardships and give you a shoulder to cry on. But that does not mean they have an obligation to be at your disposal at all times.
For example, imagine that you two planned a date night. You were looking forward to it, counting the hours. But then, something urgent came up, and your partner could no longer make it. Naturally, you’d be very disappointed and upset by this sudden change of plans, no matter how understanding of a partner you are.
However, you’d be feeling worse if you expected your loved one to drop everything for you, even in case of an emergency. Not only would you be hurt by it, but you’d also feel insulted. And surely, this kind of situation wouldn’t be just a one-time occurrence because life can be full of unexpected events and incidents.
So if you get upset every time something like this happens, you’ll start feeling unhappy in your relationship, which, in turn, will affect the way you feel about your partner. Over time, this can take a toll on your relationship, destroying it slowly. Therefore, it’s essential to be more realistic when it comes to relationship expectations. Otherwise, you may put your relationship at risk.
4. There Must Not Be Any Arguments
No matter how much you and your partner love each other, you will inevitably argue at some point. After all, arguments are a healthy part of any relationship, assuming it does not turn into violent one. They allow you to address the issue and decide what to do about it.
That’s why avoiding arguments can harm your relationship. If you keep ignoring your problems consistently, they will eventually accumulate. Once this happens, it may take a herculean effort to tackle all these issues.
After all, it’s difficult enough to address one issue at a time. But when you are facing a whole catalog of problems, it’s next to impossible not to feel overwhelmed and immediately give up.
So don’t be afraid of having arguments. Think of them as a way to improve your relationship and save it from falling apart because that’s exactly what they are for.
5. A Good Partner Never Makes Mistakes
People are flawed by nature. As such, it’s impossible to find someone who is perfect. Even seemingly perfect people have their flaws you may not be aware of. If you initially believed that your partner was one of those people, you likely got disappointed after learning about their imperfections.
You should never put someone on a pedestal, no matter how charming and amazing they may seem. And it’s bad for your partner too.
If you expect them to never make mistakes, you will put a lot of pressure on them. This, in turn, will make them feel anxious and overwhelmed like they are walking on eggshells constantly.
So be kind and understanding toward your partner whenever they make a mistake. Criticize them for it if the occasion calls for it, but don’t make them feel like a failure for each mistake they make.
6. They Need to Be on Your Side All the Time
You should not expect your partner to have the same opinion as you on every matter. Everyone has unique perspectives and views about the situation that can’t always match yours. So why would you expect your partner to be any different?
Of course, it’s your partner’s duty to support you during hardships, doing everything in their power to help you get through tough times. You are entitled to this kind of emotional support as it comes into the relationship package.
However, that does not mean they also need to support every one of your opinions. Even if your partner were to agree with you on everything, it would only destroy your relationship over time because they’d not be able to express themselves anymore.
Eventually, this would make them feel so suffocated and anxious that they would have no choice but to end things with you.
Therefore, not only should you allow your partner to have a different opinion than you, but you should also encourage them to express it. That’s the only way to prevent the relationship from deteriorating.
Final Thoughts
Relationships are not easy to navigate, and you may make many mistakes along the way. Putting your partner on a pedestal and expecting too much from them can be one of those mistakes. So try to have more realistic expectations when it comes to your relationship. Otherwise, you may harm it and permanently destroy it. So be careful and do everything you can to maintain a healthy relationship.
