Trust issues serve as a coping mechanism that a person develops after being hurt deeply, which can include actions, feelings, and behavioral patterns rooted in jealousy, suspicion, and negative thoughts. People with trust issues tend to feel like they are always at risk of losing someone important to them. As a result, their insecurities and fear start controlling their behavior and actions, making them think they need to test others constantly. Their mind makes them think everybody is dishonest, deceitful, and faithless; a mindset that can cause cracks in a relationship and eventually destroy it. But what causes trust issues and how can you know for sure if you have them? Here is everything you need to be aware of.
Common Reasons Why People Develop Trust Issues
1. Trauma
Experiencing traumatic events can leave a person in a chaotic and vulnerable state, making them increasingly distrustful of others.
Once this person gets into a relationship, they may begin anticipating betrayal, harm, or danger from their loved one because their past experiences make them think that history will repeat itself.
2. An Adverse Childhood
Mistreatment and abuse one experiences as a child can haunt the person throughout the rest of their life, manifesting itself in various ways, including being distrustful of others.
In fact, a 2021 study discovered that one’s maltreatment as a child is directly correlated to their level of distrust. As a result, once a person reaches adulthood, they become unable to form and maintain healthy relationships.
3. Being Cheated On
This is otherwise referred to as a betrayal trauma that not only leaves a person with a broken heart but also shattered trust.
As a result of betrayal trauma, people may end up developing lower levels of trust, making them suspicious of their significant other.
4. Your Attachment Style
Attachment styles refer to a particular way in which you relate to others. In other words, they are expectations you develop about relationships with those around you.
According to the attachment style theory, a person’s bond with their primary caregiver as a child is directly correlated with how they establish relationships as an adult.
This means that a caregiver needs to form a healthy relationship with a child to help them establish proper relationships as an adult.
There are four types of attachment styles, such as secure, disorganized, avoidant, and anxious-ambivalent.
People who were not able to form healthy attachments with their caregivers may end up developing insecure attachment styles because their parents didn’t meet some of their needs as a child.
For instance, an anxious attachment style can be a result of inconsistent parenting, causing the fear of abandonment later in life.
Signs of Trust Issues
1. You Struggle to Open Up
When your mind continues telling you that everyone is unreliable and dishonest, you end up keeping your emotions and worries to yourself.
You fear that others may judge you or misunderstand you so you choose silence instead.
Unfortunately, bottling up your emotions and worries can negatively affect your emotional well-being, leading to serious consequences over time.
2. You End Up Arguing Over Trivial Matters
Do you find yourself arguing with your significant other about small things? Low levels of trust and your refusal to acknowledge them or their cause can keep you constantly on edge.
As a result, you become emotionally unpredictable and have less power to control emotions like anger and frustration.
3. You Are Lonely
Having trust issues often forces a person to pretend that everything is alright. They think it’s better to hide their thoughts and emotions instead of sharing them with others.
However, your thoughts and emotions are an important part of you so hiding them makes you hide yourself as well. Consequently, you start feeling lonely over time as you can’t be fully yourself even around those you love.
4. You Feel Like History Will Repeat Itself
You have every right not to trust those who hurt you before, but things get dangerous when you start doubting those who have not done anything wrong to you.
Remind yourself that your past experiences have no power to affect your present relationships in any way and that all you have to focus on is how to get rid of your trust issues.
5. You Are Afraid of Commitment
It is difficult to commit to a relationship when you don’t have much faith in it in the first place. After all, your fear of abandonment and anticipation of betrayal can prevent you from starting a new chapter of your life.
You fear commitment because your subconscious tells you there won’t be a happy ending for you. But remember that you are the one who has the power over your mind instead of the other way around. So do everything you can to rid yourself of these negative thoughts.
6. You Are Overprotective
There is a big difference between caring about someone and being overprotective of them. The former is an indication of love while the latter is a manifestation of insecurity and unease.
Gradually, this can make your partner feel sad, stressed, and suffocated in a relationship, which may eventually lead to a breakup.
7. You Self-isolate
Do you find yourself craving self-isolation when you feel stressed out and emotionally overwhelmed? People with trust issues tend to isolate themselves from everyone and everything when they are feeling anxious.
So instead of seeking the advice of your loved ones or dealing with a problematic situation on your own, you end up isolating yourself.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with your trust issues won’t be an easy challenge to tackle but one that will bring you liberation and peace of mind.
Don’t allow your negative past experiences to destroy your present. Remind yourself not to distrust your loved one if they have never given you a reason to.
So give yourself an opportunity to trust again. After all, how can you form deep connections with others if your distrust is constantly getting in your way? In the end, it all will be worth it.
