Everyone can experience unhappiness every now and then. But for some people, it may become a permanent part of their lives, leading to a sense of desperation and hopelessness. If you are one of those people, you may be wondering what could be causing this issue and how to address it. And that’s exactly what we’ll be talking about in this article, so keep on reading to learn about common causes of unhappiness and what you can do about each.
Common Causes of Unhappiness that Can Destroy Your Life
1. You Feel Entitled to Happiness
First things first, this in no way means that you are not worthy of happiness. You see, happiness is like a cherished guest who drops by your house without any prior warnings. No matter when it visits you, you’re guaranteed to welcome it with open arms.
However, the moment you start feeling entitled to its visit, you’ll only be disappointed the longer it doesn’t show up.
Then, the disappointment you feel will build up over time, making you feel more heartbroken and less unhappy as time goes by.
In other words, you shouldn’t expect for happiness to suddenly knock on your door. Instead, you should continue doing your best and focus on the present. Then happiness will drop by too, likely when you least expect it.
2. Putting Off Life
Life isn’t the type of project you should extend the deadline for. That’s why you must act quickly and get it done as soon as possible. Otherwise, you may never get an opportunity to do so later. After all, life is short, so the best we can do is to start working on our goals right away.
So why putting off your life (your goals, dreams, etc.) can make you unhappy? It’s because your subconscious never lets these things out of its sight, constantly being aware of how much they mean to you.
So when you abandon them even temporarily, the feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction starts nagging at you slowly. And the more you wait, the stronger the feelings of unhappiness and dissatisfaction get.
Therefore, you should reconnect with what’s important to you if you’ve been putting them off for a long time. That’s the only way you can get free of all the negative consequences and effects of it.
3. Turning Your Unnecessary Desires Into the Necessary Ones
There are two types of desires; the necessary and the unnecessary ones. The former includes your basic needs, such as food, water, shelter, and air.
While the latter includes things you consume or purchase just for your entertainment or a novelty element.
For example, purchasing a new accessory, or buying a new bag. And while there is nothing wrong with these things, it can cause some problems if you start placing too much value on them.
After all, your happiness shouldn’t depend on something you can buy with money. Why? Because there will always be things you may not have money for.
And if your definition of happiness is to grab that thing, being unable to get it may fill you with a sense of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
Instead, try to cherish things that are free yet have immeasurable value. For example, your friendships or a romantic relationship. Because at the end of the day, that’s where real happiness lies.
4. Putting Public Opinion Before Your Own
It’s good to be considerate of the opinions of those around you. But you shouldn’t do it at the cost of your own happiness.
For example, let’s say that you have a big dream that seems far too difficult to achieve. At least that’s what people around you say. They tell you that you should go for something more realistic so you can have a secure job and a bright future.
Yet, you are confident in your abilities and believe that you’ll be able to make that dream a reality by working hard for it. But because all your loved ones are worried about you, you end up compromising and decide to let go of your dream.
It may not hit you immediately, but the more time passes, the more regrets and sadness you will feel for abandoning it. And this is not uncommon either as many people often choose this path.
But you should always remember that you are here to live your life just the way you want to rather than how others expect you to. And even if they have your best interests in mind, it doesn’t automatically make them right.
So follow your heart because that’s where your dreams reside. And by following your heart, you’ll find happiness as well.
5. When You Are Unable to Learn from Your Mistakes
Life is a strict yet wise teacher that can give you insights about valuable things. And it’s your duty as a student to pay attention to the lessons it gives you.
Otherwise, you will always repeat your mistakes as well as experience the sadness and regrets that come with it. It’ll feel like you are stuck in a cycle that has no end.
But even if you are experiencing that at the moment, remind yourself that nothing lasts forever. The same applies to hardships or tough times.
So learn to pay close attention to life lessons. That’s the only way you can put an end to that vicious cycle and unhappiness accompanied by it.
6. Glorifying Self-pity
Many people confuse self-pity with self-compassion. And yet, they are two completely different things. For instance, let’s say you’re at a crossroads, being forced to choose between self-compassion and self-pity.
If you decide to choose the self-pity, you’ll find nothing but a dead end. And it will make you feel even more frustrated, upset, and lost than before.
On the other hand, choosing self-compassion will lead you toward a new path. And although you may still encounter some roadblocks along the way, you’ll have the courage and strength to move forward.
In other words, self-pity is like a cheaper, harmful version of self-compassion. It has no real positive value and only hurts you instead. It makes you feel weak and takes away your happiness.
While self-compassion helps you maintain the inner strength and faith you need to persevere through difficulties. So as you can tell, it’s better to replace self-pity with self-compassion rather than the other way around.
Final Thoughts
As you can see, there are various causes of unhappiness that stem from different circumstances. So identify yours and start doing your best to fight against it. And remember; it may take you some time to emerge victorious, but good things in life take time, so remind this to yourself when you feel like giving up.
