Many people find it difficult to move on from their past, especially when it’s accompanied by many regrets and painful memories. But being stuck in the past can stop you from enjoying the present and planning for the future. So it’s crucial to do everything in your power to let go of the past. Read on to learn what you can do to finally achieve that.
How to Let Go of the Past: Everything You Need to Do
1. Give Yourself the Freedom to Talk About It
Do you feel like you’re not allowed to talk about your past? Or are you afraid that talking about it will only cause you more pain?
As understandable and natural as this is, it can be the very thing that may stop you from letting go of the past. After all, in order to set yourself free from something, you need to face it first.
So instead of putting a lock on your feelings and thoughts, try to put them into words. You can start this conversation with a trusted friend or a therapist, giving you the comfort and relief you need.
2. Try to Forgive
Of course this is always easier said than done, especially when you’ve been wronged in many ways.
But remember, you should forgive not because the other person necessarily deserves it, but because you deserve to regain your peace of mind.
It’s a crucial part of a healing journey that can help you let go of sadness, shame, guilt, anger, anxiety, and anything else that’s troubling you.
And if it’s your own self you can’t forgive, you have even more reason to show compassion to yourself. Try not to blame yourself for what happened and don’t criticize yourself for making mistakes. It’s all part of being a human.
3. Treat Yourself the Same Way You Treat Your Friends
If you find it difficult to be kind to yourself, try to think of yourself as one of your friends. How do you treat them when they are going through something? You support them and encourage them, right?
So if you are this kind to your friends, it’s only right to show this same kindness to yourself. But the problem is that we tend to be cruel to ourselves because we’re the biggest critics of ourselves.
But this behavior often stops us from letting go of pain and moving forward. So it’s important to practice self-kindness to help yourself achieve that.
4. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness helps you bring your focus to the present, which consequently helps you forget about your past and let go of your worries about the future.
It also teaches you to be more in control of your emotions and thoughts, helping you better respond to life challenges.
5. Allow Yourself to Feel Regrets But Don’t Dwell On them Too Much
It’s natural to have regrets, so you shouldn’t lie to yourself that you don’t have any.
It may bring you a temporary sense of comfort, but this level of self-deception will only make things worse in the long run.
Namely, it’ll prevent you from properly processing your feelings and emotions, making it harder for you to leave the past behind.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, you may dwell on them too much. But hyper-fixating on your regrets can be just as bad as pretending not to have them.
It’ll stop you from forgiving yourself, keeping you stuck in a cycle of self-blame and endless “what if” questions.
So the best thing you can do is to accept your regrets and all the negative emotions that come with them. But once you do this, try not to ruminate on them too much or it’ll hinder you on your healing journey.
6. Don’t Romanticize the Past
You may have a habit of imagining how your life would have turned out if things had gone a bit differently.
But this can be a dangerous thing to do. Because such scenarios serve no purpose except to keep you stuck in the past you can no longer change.
So instead of spending your energy on creating those mental images, try to focus on the present and what you can do to make your life better.
7. Practice Positive Affirmations and Mantras
Affirmations and mantras are powerful tools you can use to rewire your negative thoughts, making a way for positive thoughts instead.
For example, instead of saying things like, “It’s all over and nothing will ever get better”, you can say, “Every end is followed by a new beginning and good things will come in the future.”
Other affirmations and mantras that can help you move on from the past include:
- I won’t be stuck in the past and will embrace the future.
- I can’t control the past but I can decide how my present and future will unfold
- I am prepared for a new beginning
8. Add Some Novelty to Your Present
One of the best ways to move on from the past is to try out new things in the present. You can do this by finding new hobbies and activities that can keep you busy and entertained. It’ll give you the positivity you need and help you shift your focus from the past to the present.
You can also set new goals, both short-term as well as long-term ones, and establish new friendships.
After all, the world is full of wonderful people you can meet. And the more of them you have in your life, the better it can be.
Then these new friends can also brighten your life just like your old friends or those you’ve known for a very long time.
Finally, you can try volunteering as well. It’ll help you add some joy to your life while simultaneously improving the lives of others.
So as you can see, there are many things you can do to make room for the new instead of constantly focusing on the old.
Final Thoughts
Moving from your past is no easy feat as it requires you to put a lot of your time, energy, and patience into it. But as difficult as it can be, it will also bring you the peace you crave as well as the great victory you can celebrate.
