Imagine the following situation; one day, you wake up and decide it’s finally time to address the issue that’s been plaguing your relationship for quite a while. However, instead of talking it through, you end up fighting and arguing with your partner, making things even worse. So what can you do to ensure you avoid these kinds of situations by developing effective communication in a relationship? Here is everything you need to know to discuss relationship issues without fighting.
10 Tips for Effective Communication In a Relationship
1. Don’t Try to Prove That You Are Always Right
When you are in the middle of addressing a certain relationship issue, don’t insist that your ideas and opinions are the only valid ones. You are just as capable of making mistakes as your significant other, so you shouldn’t automatically dismiss the idea that you may be the one at fault this time.
So the next time you are about to argue with your partner, first ask yourself who is to blame for the issue; is it entirely your partner’s fault or are you partially responsible for it as well? This will save your relationship from additional troubles and tension, giving you the opportunity to show your loved one that their side of the story truly matters to you.
2. Don’t Be Dismissive of Your Partner’s Opinions
Give your significant other the chance to voice their opinions and perspectives. Don’t automatically dismiss their version of the story only because it does not match yours.
When you are in a partnership, the other person needs to feel that their voice is just as important as yours. If this aspect is missing from a relationship, it will only alienate the two of you from each other and make you unable to see the situation through their eyes.
3. Focus on their Words Instead of Your Emotions
When your loved one is trying to discuss something with you, pay attention to what they are saying instead of focusing on how their words make you feel at the very moment. This holds even more true if you are already feeling angry or frustrated because of some other issue that happened beforehand.
At times, when you are too angry and irritated, you may end up getting overwhelmed to the point that your emotions become the only thing you are focusing on. As a result, you can no longer hear your loved one as you are on the verge of exploding. Therefore, you need to calm your emotions down before they get out of hand and worsen the situation.
4. Listen With an Intent to Understand
Keep in mind that you are not in a debate with some stranger you met on the internet; you are having a conversation with someone you deeply care about.
So whenever they explain their side of the story to you, listen with an intent to understand where they are coming from and what caused them to say or do the thing they did.
After all, you are not trying to win a debate against them but solve the issue with a joint effort, so it’s crucial to hear each other out.
5. Have an Open Mind
Don’t dismiss their opinions or ideas just because they may seem childish, strange, or ridiculous to you. Sometimes, there are moments when your partner ends up doing something you simply can’t understand and so you may start questioning their loyalty or affection for you.
However, even during these moments, try to keep an open mind and carefully think about what might have caused their actions. If you still can’t find the answer, try to ask them about it in a polite, non-aggressive manner. It may help you understand them better.
6. Respect Your Partner’s Feelings Instead of Protecting Your Pride
There are times when it’s better to choose kindness instead of defending your pride. For example, if your partner makes a mistake that ends up affecting your relationship, there is no need to make them feel bad and punish them harshly.
Instead, try to calmly explain to them why their actions were wrong. This will give them the opportunity to understand and accept their mistakes, helping them become a better partner and a better person, overall.
7. Give Each Other Enough Time to Share Your Perspectives
Don’t attempt to dominate the conversation when you are trying to resolve a problem. Instead, make sure to give your partner enough time to express themselves so you can do the same as well. To make it work, both of you need enough time to properly process, understand and react to a situation.
8. Avoid Bringing Up Past Mistakes Just to Support Your Point
You shouldn’t make your partner feel awful by bringing up their old mistakes in an attempt to support your point. Instead, try to be more compassionate toward them so you don’t put all the blame on your loved one only because they made a couple of wrong decisions before.
Remind yourself to focus on the present time and the current issue you are facing. Most importantly, don’t dismiss the problem if you can’t find a solution for it on your first try. Keep going until you finally resolve it to make sure that it won’t suddenly reappear someday in the future.
9. Don’t Attempt to Make Decisions When Both of You Are Emotional
Don’t talk about breaking up or going separate ways when you’re both angry, tired, or anxious. Give yourself some time to recover from the physical and emotional exhaustion due to all the unnecessary arguing and fighting.
By giving each other much-needed space and time, you will be able to cool off, not allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment. Do everything in your power to hold on to a relationship as long as both of you believe that being together is so much better than breaking up.
10. Don’t Expect Things to be Okay Immediately
Give it some time after addressing the issue. Don’t expect your partner to smile at you or laugh at your jokes immediately after a tough conversation. Wait for them until they can properly process their emotions and feel okay.
You should also give yourself time to do the same. This process is normal and does not indicate you’re sick or tired of each other.
Final Thoughts
No relationship is perfect and every couple has their tough days from time to time, but that does not mean you should let it all go to waste. Don’t let your arguments or different viewpoints destroy your relationship and try to properly deal with them as soon as they arise.
And hopefully, this article helped you gain a new perspective and gave you some ideas on how to better communicate with your partner.
