Security is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. It gives you the confidence you can rely on your partner when things get hard and use their help to ease your burdens. However, cultivating security can take quite a long time so you should be patient in this process. Don’t know where to start? The tips below will teach you how to feel secure in a relationship in simple yet effective ways.
How to Feel Secure in a Relationship: 9 Things To Try
1. Avoid Playing Mind Games
For some people, playing mind games is like a part of their personality, while for others, it’s something they do when they feel frustrated, upset, or insecure at times.
Regardless of the reason, playing mind games always has a detrimental effect on a relationship.
It may not be noticeable right away, but over time, it will build up into something that can be difficult to untangle.
No matter how angry or upset you are with your partner, refrain from playing mind games. It will only make things worse in the long run.
2. Don’t Be Afraid to Express Yourself
One of the advantages of being in a relationship is that you can freely share your thoughts and feelings with your loved one. However, at times, you may feel like you need to hold back because you fear your partner’s reaction.
Although this is completely normal, it can have a negative impact on your mental and emotional state. After all, there’s only so much you can keep to yourself. Over time, all these unspoken thoughts and unexpressed emotions may cause you distress, anxiety, and uneasiness. It may even make you question the quality of your relationship.
Therefore, it’s crucial not to hide your thoughts and feelings from your loved one. They may not always give you the best response possible, but if they truly love you, they will never disregard the way you think and feel.
3. Let Your Partner Know What You Appreciate About Them
Your partner must have some qualities or traits you truly admire in them, especially the ones that made you fall in love with them. Let them know about all these things you love about them. Not only will this make them feel good about themselves but they’ll also likely reciprocate by telling you what they admire about you.
Showing your appreciation for one another can make you feel more confident about yourselves and boost your self-love. This, in turn, will add another layer of security to your relationship. After all, how can you not feel secure in a relationship with someone who has so much love and respect for you?
4. Respect Each Other’s Personal Boundaries
Every person has their own boundaries others need to respect. When you start a relationship, one of the first things you need to do is to learn about your partner’s boundaries and share yours with them.
This way, you’ll know what your partner is comfortable with and will never cross the line set by them. Needless to say, they also need to keep your boundaries in mind and respect them.
5. Cultivate Open Communication
Open communication is directly correlated to relationship longevity. The better it is, the greater your bond is as a couple.
So how do you hone your open communication skills? First and foremost, try to be understanding and empathetic toward your partner.
When they make a mistake, explain to them why their actions were wrong, even more so if they don’t understand why you’d be upset over it.
When you get into an argument, try not to be overtaken by your emotions and make sure to hear your partner’s point of view as well.
This can be your way of showing them the respect and love they deserve. Seeing this, they’ll also start treating you the same, whether consciously or subconsciously.
6. Show Your Vulnerable Side
Being vulnerable is no easy thing to do. That’s why many people avoid showing their vulnerability even to the closest of people.
In a romantic relationship, vulnerability becomes all the more important because it is the thing that helps you feel secure and understood.
This can give you confidence that no matter what, your partner will always support and console you through hardships, never taking advantage of your momentary weakness or vulnerability.
7. Work Through Problems as a Team
Every couple faces their own problems every once in a while. Sometimes, these issues can lead to the ending of a relationship, while other times, they do the opposite and strengthen it.
The end result depends on how the couple responds to the issue at hand and whether each individual can take their fair share of responsibility while tackling it.
Therefore, you and your partner need to work through your issues together, as a team, to successfully overcome the problem and make your relationship even stronger.
8. Keep Your Promises
No matter how old you are, the broken promise can leave you feeling betrayed, hurt, or disappointed.
It didn’t feel great as a child and it doesn’t feel great as an adult either. In fact, it may hurt a bit more as a grown-up because you start to think of all the possible, usually negative, reasons as to why someone didn’t follow up with a promise.
Breaking the promise to your partner can cause the same effect, making them feel upset, disheartened, and betrayed.
Over time, your loved one may even lose their trust in you if you continue doing the same. So try to always keep your word and only promise things you know you can handle.
9. Don’t Be Judgemental
Maybe there are some things you don’t understand about your partner or habits that seem strange to you. But as long as they don’t harm you or your relationship in any way, you have no reason to judge your loved one for them.
Soon enough, they may catch on to this, even if you don’t say anything about it, and will either be upset by it or try to modify their behavior around you. None of which is a good outcome.
Your partner should feel accepted by you along with all their personal quirks and eccentricities you may never understand or relate to.
Final Thoughts
As you can see, there are many things you can do to feel secure in a relationship. If you regularly practice these methods, you’ll soon notice the positive effects they have on your partnership; not only do they add security to it but they’ll also boost relationship stability and bring you closer as a couple.
