Are you the type of person who chases after perfection? Do you feel like a failure when things don’t turn out perfect? Do you often wonder how to tell if you are a perfectionist? If you answered “yes” to most or all of these questions, chances are high that you are indeed a perfectionist.
But this isn’t everything because there’s more to it than just a few traits or behaviors. So keep on reading to learn more about perfectionism, its characteristics, and where you are on a perfectionism scale.
How to Tell If You Are a Perfectionist: 7 Signs
1. You Set Unrealistic Standards for Yourself
Do you expect yourself to always be right and never make mistakes? Do you set unrealistic goals for yourself that are out of reach (according to other people or yourself)?
These are common perfectionism behaviors that can make you feel inadequate or never good enough. And what makes things even worse is that even when you achieve some success, you don’t feel like celebrating because it’s not enough for you.
2. You Beat Yourself Up for Not Achieving Your Goals
For perfectionists, it’s almost second nature to blame themselves when they fail to achieve their goals. They often see it as a sign that they lack competence and don’t have what it takes to achieve success.
They also experience high levels of anxiety and stress as a result, which negatively affects their mental health. And the fact that they struggle to move on only worsens the situation.
3. You Are Afraid of Failure
Ask yourself if you are afraid of failure. If you answered yes, then this is another sign of your perfectionism.
So why are perfectionists afraid of failure? It’s because their self-perception and happiness depend on their achievements. So when they fail to achieve something, they feel worthless and unhappy.
4. You Are Highly Critical of Yourself
When you are a perfectionist, it’s difficult to focus on your positive traits or behaviors. Instead, you tend to concentrate on your flaws and imperfections.
It doesn’t matter if you have 10 positive traits and just 2 flaws; you still end up focusing on those flaws instead of appreciating your positive traits.
Additionally, you may be hyper-fixated on your mistakes and hard on yourself for making them.
In other words, perfectionism makes you too judgmental toward yourself and not allowing you to appreciate positive aspects of yourself.
5. You Have All-or-Nothing Attitude
For perfectionists, there is no such thing as “almost perfect result” or “almost perfection.” So they won’t consider the task accomplished unless they did it flawlessly.
The same goes for achieving goals. They may accomplish something but still be dissatisfied with themselves because it doesn’t feel enough.
This attitude makes them unable to celebrate their achievements. Instead, they continue dwelling on how they could have made it perfect.
6. You Don’t Like Receiving Feedback
Does feedback make you defensive? If so, it’s only natural you dislike receiving it. But that doesn’t mean you should. And here’s why; feedback is meant to help you improve. But when you’re a perfectionist, you don’t see it this way.
To you, unfair criticism and constructive feedback/criticism sound the same. And that’s exactly why you’re more likely to get defensive while receiving feedback.
Or maybe you’re able to tell that they’re not the same thing, but still don’t like the idea of someone suggesting you something or giving you advice.
But this behavior can actually stop you from getting better at something or achieving a better result. So the best thing you can do is to teach yourself to become more accepting toward receiving feedback.
7. You Tend to Procrastinate
Earlier we mentioned that perfectionists are afraid of failure. And this fear of failure is often followed by procrastination.
Many perfectionists think that the best way to avoid failure is to not even try. Or to delay doing something for as long as they can.
But this usually comes with harmful consequences, such as falling behind deadlines or adding more stress to your life.
The only way to overcome this behavior is to embrace the possibility of failure, which you can do by regularly reminding yourself that you’re just a human. The human who is allowed to make mistakes and fail.
Why Being a Perfectionist Is Difficult
Perfectionism pushes you to be perfect in whatever you do. It also tells you that you must not make any mistakes and always achieve the goals you set for yourself.
Failure is never an option and is even a scary possibility. So when it happens, you are disappointed in yourself and may feel like you have no worth.
This way of thinking only increases your stress levels and anxiety, causing you to feel sad and depressed. It can also lead to low self-esteem, difficulty sleeping, and eating disorders.
Perfectionism can also make you too controlling. You may try to control every little detail of a situation or relationship to make sure it stays flawless.
This in turn can put pressure on those around you and negatively affect your interpersonal relationships.
So as you can see, perfectionism doesn’t make things hard only for you; your loved ones can also be affected by your perfectionism.
How to Let Go of Perfectionism
There are many wonderful strategies you can use to overcome perfectionism and get rid of its negative effects on your life. These strategies include:
- Reminding yourself that you’re a human and allowed to make mistakes
- Engaging in positive self-talk
- Trying to challenge your negative thoughts
- Practicing mindfulness. It can help you focus only on the present instead of worrying about the past or the future
Final Thoughts
Now that you know all the signs of perfectionism, you can easily decide where you are on a perfectionism scale.
If you relate to only one or two of those behaviors, you are somewhere in the middle, which means your perfectionism can be more manageable.
But if you do more or all of those things, you certainly have high levels of perfectionism that can be hard to manage.
But regardless of where you find yourself on a perfectionism scale, the strategies above can help you reduce or overcome it, which can significantly improve your mental health and quality of life.
